Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
by Overlord Rousdower
Summary: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Gotham, not a person was stirring, not even… oh nevermind. Needless to say, there was one person stirring, and that would be none other than the Joker. Hit by a sudden craving for Christmas cookies, he broke out of Arkham, taking with him the nefarious yet left-out Scarecrow. Day Four of the Fanfiction Christmas Countdown!


**A/N: I have a migraine and a fever so I'm not fully responsible for this. *points down* I can promise it will make almost no sense whatsoever! Read at your own risk!**

 **ANYWAYS. This is… *counts on fingers* Day four? Yeah, day four of the Fanfiction Christmas Countdown of 2015! \\(*O*)/ Yesterday's story was a Frozen story called, 'All I Want For Christmas is You' by** **ThurinRanger** **! Go check it out!**

 **Tomorrow's story is by** **Lily Lindsey-Aubrey,** **for the Mission Impossible fandom. I haven't talked to her so I don't know what it's called, but keep an eye out for it guys~! Now I'm going to go mope about and watch Supernatural! MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

 **oOoOoOoOo**

 ** _Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Gotham, not a person was stirring, not even… oh nevermind. Needless to say, there was one person stirring, and that would be none other than the Joker. Hit by a sudden craving for Christmas cookies, he broke out of Arkham, taking with him the nefarious yet left-out Scarecrow. We now join them in a nearby bakery-_**

" _Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! The Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away_ …"

There was a pause in the singing.

"Or… was it 'the Joker did ballet'?" The clown tapped his chin in thought for a moment, before shrugging his shoulders and letting out a cackle. "They both work! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Joker began to twirl around, humming his song.

Outside of the bakery he was terrorizing, the snow was falling down at a rather rapid pace, and all the customers were cowering on the floor as the Joker twirled about, haphazardly waving a gun.

"Um, boss? Terry thought he saw the Batman just now," said a goon, who had poked his head through the door and eyed his boss warily.

"Ohhhh eheheheh, so Batsy wants to get into the Christmas spirit too, eh?" The Joker adjusted the Santa hat on his head.

From the corner of the room, Scarecrow rolled his eyes at the cackling clown. "Why are we here again?"

"Ohhhh, just getting some cookies," the Joker sang, taking the hat off his head. He plucked cookies from the stand and dumped them into the hat, while the Scarecrow face palmed in his corner.

The door crashed open, and a dark figure stood there, glaring at the two villains menacingly. "Put those cookies back," the figure growled.

"Ohhhh _Batsy!_ I knew you'd come! Now do you want a Gingerbread man, or a sugar cookie? Maybe the one with the peppermint sprinkles?" The Joker began throwing different cookies at Batman, as he rifled through his hat.

"I'm Batman, I have no time for cookies," Batman growled, taking a threatening step forward. "You're supposed to be in Arkham, how did you get out?"

"How I always get out! Heheheh…" the Joker snickered. He paused before performing a remarkable set of jazz-hands and saying, "Maaaaagic!"

Batman resisted the urge to bang his head into the wall.

"Um… excuse me?"

Everyone turned to look at Scarecrow, who was raising his hand in the corner. "Does nobody care how I escaped?"

He received a set of blank stares.

"Okay then…." he muttered as he slowly lowered his hand.

The Joker sniggered and bit off the head of a gingerbread man. Batman took a threatening step forward.

"It's time to put you back where you belong, clown," Batman growled.

The Joker cackled. "How are you going to do that, Batsy? It's Christmaaaas, everyone's home for the holidays! You're such a Griiiiinch HAHAHAHAHHA!"

Scarecrow stirred his hot chocolate, observing mutely and feeling very left out.

Batman reached for his batarang.. only to find a candy cane in it's place. He stared at it in confusion as the Joker toppled over sideways, clutching his sides in laughter.

"How…?"

The Joker jazz-handed from his place on the floor. "Maaaaagic! Honestly Batsie, get in the spirit! Heheheheh…"

There was a loud bang, and Batman flew forward, faceplanting into the opposite wall.

"Riddle me this! What do you call Santa when he stops moving?"

Scarecrow raised his hand, but was once again ignored.

"SANTA PAUSED!"

The Riddle and the Joker started cackling uncontrollably.

Batman slowly got up from the floor, rubbing his head.

"Riddle me _this!_ Where does a snowman keep his money?"

"Where?" the Joker leant forward eagerly.

"IN A SNOW BANK!"

They both collapsed again, laughing breathlessly. Batman was twitching slightly.

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a partridge in a pear tree~~" The Joker sang.

"Here we go again…" Scarecrow muttered from his corner.

"Ah, ah!" The Riddler waved his finger around. "Roses are red and these pears are green, a partridge from friends that cannot be seen. We'll have to be tricky, don't watch for us running. If you catch us too early we just might stop coming!"

The Joker was laughing too hard to respond.

"That's it!"

Everyone turned to stare at Batman.

"I quit!"

"Aw… why Batsy?" the Joker pouted.

"…Because I'm Batman."

Batman threw down resignation papers and stormed out of the bakery.

There was a heavy silence.

"Me too!" Everyone stared a Scarecrow, who stomped out, muttering about 'under-appreciation'.

"So much for Christmas Spirit…" The Joker sniggered. The Riddler merely shrugged.

"Wanna hear a song?"

The Riddler clasped his hands. "I love songs!"

" _Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! The Batmobile, lost a wheel and the Joker got away~"_

"I thought it was 'the Joker did ballet'?"

 **a/n: I'm sorry? Oh, btw, the riddles are stuff I found online and the reason they keep wondering about the lyrics is because I always thought it was 'ballet' but I guess it's not? So yeah… Ok I'm done talking now…**

 **Overlord Rousdower out_**


End file.
